In the interest of conserving energy and time, you will be reading my thoughts as we sit in the ER. I hardly ever write about spiritual topics since I want to keep our blog "neutral". However, at some point in parenthood we all reach a place where we need help "outside of our selves", the only reliable place I go to is our Higher Power. I find myself in that place tonight.
I call myself a Believer. We do not have a church home, nor do we ascribe to an organized religion. Bruss and I both Believe in God, and having been witness to and receivers of His awesome grace, His healing power, and the power of prayer, we gratefully give thanks to Him every night as we pray together as a family.
I sit here begging His mercy once again as I sit here with our beautiful son. Who knows how he hurt himself today? Playing with his trains in the dirt and gravel, as we have done many times before, took a nasty turn today. It was a windy day. Something blew into his eye. He rubbed it with his musty, dusty hand...and trouble ensued. We flushed it out and all seemed well.
Then this evening, he started shrieking and grabbing at his face. Thinking it would pass if he washed the irritant out with his tears, we ran to the grocery store to pick up some items we can't find in Payson, AZ where we spend our summers.
He did proceed to tear all the way through our shopping trip, but nothing improved. I prayed for the grace to get through the trip so we could get what we needed, and God answered my prayer. Our Ysabella and Bryan were amazing helpers, and Bruss made it through our quick trip through the store. Trusting my maternal instinct that tears should have worked by now if they were going to work, we headed to an Urgent Care center.
Long story short, after an 1.5 hour wait, it turns out they can't help us and we are sent to Phoenix Children's Hospital. So here I sit.
What do I do now? All the things we used while we were in labor, waiting to welcome him "earthside".
While we were waiting in the lobby, I held him in my arms and read to him, hoping that the sound of my voice would soothe him. It worked: he fell asleep, so now at least he isn't fighting to keep from rubbing his eye. If he did scratch the surface of the eye somehow, thankfully it isn't being irritated as he lies here sleeping peacefully.
As Bradley students, we learned that slow, deep breathing is a relaxation tool for labor. Abdominal breathing is the natural and best way to breathe for calmness and relaxation. I also incorporate what we learned as yoga students. I practice my abdominal breathing. I hope that my breath and energy will calm him as he lays nestled in my embrace.
I turn to God for spiritual comfort. I pray the "Our Father". I focus on each word of this rote prayer, marveling in the awesome power imbued in it's simple words. Here are the parts that comfort me:
"Our Father, who art in Heaven" ~ although I am here alone without my husband to whom I turn for earthly comforting, my Father in Heaven is with me and knows I am calling to Him.
"Hallowed be thy name" ~ today, His holy name reminds me that I and my children are in His hands.
"Thy kingdom come" ~ the promise of life in His light and glory, free from illness, pain and worry - what a comforting thought on a day like this!
"Thy will be done" ~ I can trust that whatever happens with our son, Bruss, God's hand is guiding the care providers who are taking care of him, and that we are in God's hands
"Give us this day our daily bread" ~ God will give me enough for today - the grace I need to be a mother to our children, the strength to make it through this trial. I pray that God will bless the hands, heads, and hearts of the care providers we see tonight so that they can identify what Bruss needs for healing.
Now that we are in our exam room and he is sleeping peacefully on the bed, I keep one hand on him at all times. I want him to know that I am here with him, next to him, aware of him although we are just "being" and waiting for a care provider to evaluate him.
He is still asleep when the care provider arrives. I talk to him and let him know what's going on so he's not scared or surprised when she starts touching him.
I talk to him through the exam, letting him know I am here and that I love him. The doctors and staff here are as fabulous as usual. We are blessed. The physicians assistant didn't feel like he was responding to the treatment as expected, so she went in one more time with a different approach and extracted a piece of dirt as big as a dot made by a ballpoint pen from under his eyelid. I thank God again for his mercy and for this persistent care provider.
The good news is that he is going to be fine. It looks like he may have some surface abrasions on his eye. As God in his perfect design created us, eyes heal quickly, and usually with no permanent damage.
We are waiting for our release papers so we can go. We hope to leave here soon so we can pick brother and sister up from their aunt's house and head home for some sleep. By the time I post this and update the website, I pray this will be another little bump along life's promising journey!
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It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. This blog contains information about our classes available in Chandler, AZ and Payson, AZ and is not the official website of The Bradley Method®. The views contained on this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Bradley Method® or the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®.